There's no way in hell!
by i regret being here and 12
Summary: for
1. Chapter 1

**There's no way in hell that I will like him!  
>- The Joker<br>**

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><p><strong>Summary:<strong>  
>I had recently entered college with my overbearing Boy Love loving cousin. And she has set her sights on getting me and this mysterious transfer together! Fangirls squeal, I will keel… <strong>SebaCielAU/OOC**

**Rating:**  
>T, to M later on. ;)))<p>

**Word Count:**  
>1,736<p>

**Disclaimer:**  
>I love disclaimers. It gives proof that I don't own shit. :) XD<p>

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><p><strong>~ .: Chapter 1 – Enter: Tall Dark and Distraction! – :. ~<strong>

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><p>It was nearing the end of the semester and tests were being studied for. I hated this time of year. It was almost as overbearing as my cousin, Lizzy, but now was not the time for such thoughts. I should focus more on revising than annoyances.<p>

Seeing all the dead and dejected looks on people's faces made me grin - mentally of course. A sadist at heart but a historian at mind. The works that history made were indeed magnificent and interesting, but not the sort of interesting I wanted. But you cannot always get what you want. Having to go to an anime convention with Lizzy taught me that.

And my mind drifted to nothing again. I sighed and grabbed my belongings, walking out of the library with a tired smile. Spending a whole night at the library with no form of comfortable sleeping furniture was almost close enough to hell as studying.

"Ciel~!"

I shuddered but turned to give a small smile to the blonde anyway.

"Why hello dear cousin. Out to not study I presume?" I faked the posh vocab. She rolled her eyes and gave a grin before hugging me.

"I just got out of the club. You should really meet some of my friends! They're good people!" she whined.

"No," I deadpanned.

"Why~?" she continued with the incessant whining. I could facepalm but then I would get books and pens to the face as well.

"Because I have tests to study for and any friend of yours, is an annoyance of mine," I told her honestly, sticking my pierced tongue out at her.

"You know how much I love seeing that piercing?" she giggled, causing me to roll my eyes this time.

"Do you know how much I love rebelling against society?" I asked, smirking. Ah yes. Society and its many rules. It sucks and I refuse to conform.

"Yet you will not accept the love of the art of yaoi!" she gasped dramatically. Oh no…

"Please don't give me that whole speech now! I already had a terrible sleep!" I cried as lines of gloom and impending doom crossed on my face.

"Whatever," she said, crossing her arms and pouting. "Come to the mall with me after your little nap or something okay?"

"I'm not a child you know!" I called after her as she walked away with a bounce in her step. I sighed and shook my head.

I really wanted to sleep, and that I did.

;P ;P ;P

The next day I got a call from Lizzy. I was half asleep but she was fan-girling over something. I could care less so I want back to sleep again, the phone dropping on the floor with a light 'thud'.

XD XD XD

The door to my room slammed open. I hated how open campus is.

"What the fuck?" I mumbled from my pillow. She pulled the blankets off of me, leaving my half naked body out in the cold.

"I told you to get up and hurry up!" she growled. I also hate how much girls can be so…well, pms-y at the most random times.

"Why the fuck would I do that?" I growled as I hugged my body-heat-warmed pillow for some warmth. I am not the happiest of chaps in the morning if you haven't noticed.

"New guy equals hotness~!" she squealed as she clasped her hands together and made weird day dreamy faces.

"I know that look and no. I have been the apple of the eye of your sick boy love fantasies and refuse to partake in them any longer!" I said firmly, ripping the thick sheet of the bed and using them as a blanket instead,

"He's not interested either. He's completely straight," she sighed disappointedly.

"First of all, good, and second of all, how do you know?" I asked, still hugging my pillow like a child. I should really buy a full-body-sized one…

"Well you remember Grell right?" she said.

"Yeah. The guy who fancies himself to be a woman, is completely obsessed with red and has failed at committing suicide so many times that if he were a suicide bomber, people wouldn't need to fear him at all," I summed.

"I'm facebook-ing that," she giggled, "But yes, that's the guy. Anyway, he flirted with the mysterious transfer and the transfer didn't do anything!"

"Well who would want to date Sutcliffe anyway?"

"Um, how about the hottest gay guy on campus?" she squealed. "Will totally has it for him!"

"That is also a part of the fantasy world which I want no part in," I pointed. She rolled her eyes at me like she always did when I mentioned my obvious reluctance with anything pertaining to her and her BL.

"Just see him and you'll know why I think he is just perfect for you!" she sniggered. I sighed. She knew I was somewhat asexual, having no attraction to women and certainly not men. That's the problem with having a close female be into things to do with you but not you…and those things happen to involve you and other men. Traumatizing on both sides of the playing field…to me at least. It's not the worst trauma in the world, but I think it contributes to why I never had a serious relationship…

Anyway, I pushed Lizzy out of my room, reluctantly getting changed to go out to god-knows-where with her. There's another thing to add to the list of hate; the man who made Lizzy fan-girl crazy

:) :) :)

And so after about a good half an hour to forty-five minutes, we went into town to a coffee shop. I usually ordered tea, but I really needed the caffeine now. Karma for laughing at others tired dispositions? Maybe.

"Oh! He's here!" she hissed in excitement. I had to fight back a yawn. I was so tired but I didn't want her to think it was because of this. If she did think that way, she'd just set me up on a date with the random. I rubbed my one tired eye, the other being equally as tired but covered with an eye patch. I blame Lizzy's cosplaying on this one. She kind of injured me before I had to dress up for the stupid thing and I had to wear this…And I somehow grew attached to it. But I have a weird scar on my eye anyway so this stops annoying questions about the oddly shaped scar. Now people just stare at me (or my eye patch I should say) for a good few minutes, then make up a weird story in their heads that makes sense.

"Hi Sebastian!"

I lazily blinked up to see a pale, raven. If I commented on his looks, that would make me seem gay and like I have a type so let's just say he was almost as good looking as me. Insert Yoda voice and 'Conceited narcissistic jerk, I am.'

"Hello Miss…Elizabeth, was it?" he said in a low voice. Dear God, how many times did he hit puberty just to get it that low and husky? It was like listening to a slow jazz singer speak normally! I kind of understand why Lizzy was fan-girling; this guy was good. And that made me wary.

"You remembered me!" she said happily clapping her hands as he put on a plastic-looking smile. "This is Ciel. My cousin."

"Hi," I muttered and nodded my head in a curt manner. He redirected his smile at me.

"So do you work here Sebastian?" she asked, scanning at him up and down.

"I take late classes so I work here at this café for the time being. I also bump into some teachers here quite frequently so I get to ask them questions about classes before they start, which is kind of a bonus I guess…"

"Oh~! I wish I could work here then~!" she whined. Dear God, once again I pray, that whining is more annoying than some of the people who preach peace and love in your name only to besmirch it with war…Early morning poetic mood = more caffeine.

"Are you here to chat up my cousin or take orders?" I asked, somewhat irritably. Ah, I hope that wasn't take as a sign of jealous. God, strike me down on the spot if they take it the wrong wa-

"Jealous are we Ciel?" Lizzy remarked, smirking. Kill me now.

"No. That is the filter in your brain telling you I am. I woke up at six in the bloody morning to go with you and I want my coffee now after that lack of sleep," I said all at once. I hope that you got all that because I am not going to write that down. Elizabeth glared at me for a second before…

"It's alright Miss. I sometimes feel the same way so I understand," the 'Sebastian' person said, still smiling in that plastic way. "Your order, _Ciel_?"

My name rolling off of his tongue was like a poison, or was it an addicting drug? Either way, it brought a cold sensation down my back and I wasn't sure whether I liked it or not.

"Something sweet and with caffeine. I honestly don't care what it is so you can either surprise me or give me a shot of something they use in hospital," I answered with dry humor laced loosely within my words. He chuckled and the sensation returned.

"Right away," he said. Did I just see a wink?

It wasn't long before I had a cup of caffeine filled hot chocolate. It was perfect actually. Sweet and a huge hit of caffeine. Probably better than a shot. As I brought the cup to my lips, I noticed a small post it note on the saucer. I felt Lizzy's dark BL fan-girl smirk burn through my head. And all the note said was 'Enjoy the caffeine – SM'. …I think Lizzy is totally in love with the initials as her smirk turned to a creepy perverted smile. I couldn't blame her for the perverseness though. I mean, SM? Come on! That is just waiting to be called out for! …

This random guy with the weird initials is going to be on my mind a lot more now thanks to Lizzy…A lot more…

The fake smile was plastered in my brain like the post it to the saucer…

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><p><strong>Yep! New Story~! And terrible name, I know. -_- I also think it's grammatically incorrect too...Tell me? XD<br>**

**Like the smiley separators? XD I was bored, Got an idea, I think this is soooo OOC..I wanted Ciel to remain conceited and haughty and…I dunno really. XD I just wrote this coz I wanted a college themed story. XD I have a heap of steamy one-shots if you want me to upload them too. :))))  
><strong>

Anything I did wrong, tell me. Hate it, tell me. Love it, tell me. I don't care, just review me. :P XDDD I'M A REVIEW WHORE~! XDDD

Oh, and love me SebaCiel fans. ;P XD

**If any of my fans are reading this coz I updated something random, don't complain to me on a story you don't like. Go to my profile and vote on my poll. Okay, now bai bai~!**

**Oh, PS: Yes, I already know this is terrible. -_- I was bored and this has been sittin in my folder for a while. I just decided to finish and upload it now, Kthxbai~! ;P  
><strong>

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><p><strong>(Finished: Sunday 1st, January, 2011. Approx: 2:05am<br>Publish Date: Sunday 1st, January, 2011.)**

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><p><strong><strong>251/12:** Structural change to all chapters of all stories.******


	2. Chapter 2

**There's no way in hell that I will like him!  
>- The Joker<br>**

**Summary:**  
>I had recently entered college with my overbearing Boy Love loving cousin. And she has set her sights on getting me and this mysterious transfer together! Fangirls squeal, I will keel… <strong>SebaCielAU/OOC**

**Rating:**  
>T, to M later on. ;)))<p>

**Word Count:**  
>1,736<p>

* * *

><p><strong>~ .: Chapter 2 – Because coincidence is the start of any form of relationship – :. ~<strong>

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><p>Now don't get the wrong idea but I admit that the man, Sebastian Michaelis, was a fun sort of fellow despite my initial thought to hate him with every bone in my body. He enjoyed good music (aka, my sort of music), he was fond of architecture and literature, and he also hated the contradictory group that is society. If I were sexually interested in anyone, I wouldn't mind if Lizzy set me up with him. Of course, <em>no one<em> is going to tell her I thought that.

We enjoyed some small talk before he went off to serve other impatient customers and we left for Lizzy's womanly desires of shoes and clothes. I opened the door, a small bell ringing, and turned to give a polite nod to Sebastian. He responded with that fake smile I scoffed slightly, smirking. I walked out onto the street to see Lizzy facing me with a smirk of her own and I groaned mentally.

"Yes?" I questioned. She grabbed my hands and brought them towards her face as she cried exaggerated tears of joy.

"He is so your type!" she squealed. I scowled.

"Like I said before, _don't_ drag me into your weird fantasies. We're only acquaintances," I said simply, forcing her hands back down to her sides. She pouted, hurt slightly.

"Come on. I know a place that sells great clothes for you!" she said, cheering up instantly. I shrugged, brushing it off but still going. I will also no admit that Lizzy is the best at choosing my clothes other than me. She actually goes out shopping and spots these sorts of shops while I put it all together.

…

Stereotypically speaking, I just _might_ be gay then… Well isn't Lizzy going to be pleased?

CX CX CX

We entered a store. Now if I wasn't as proper as I am, I'd probably be fan-boy-ing really hard right now.

It was Victorian-esque with gothic highlights; iron-wrought decorations on the windows and a candelabra hanging from the ceiling. I was almost more interested in the store than the clothes so I quickly turned my attention to them and Lizzy.

"Try this on my lovely slutty schoolboy of a cousin!" she called, giving me some clothes. I raised a brow.

"And why am I a slut? You know I don't go out. And schoolboy? We're in college," I replied, confused for once. She winked and pushed me into the changing room. I checked out the clothes before putting them on. I chuckled.

I opened the curtain and did a small twirl for her before putting my hands on my hips. A small shoulderless longsleeve with straps by my neck to keep it up and black plaid shorts just above my knee. I know why I'm being called a slut now. Shorts hanging off my hips and a shirt hanging off of my shoulders and showing my abdomen? That's completely normal. But, despite all that, I liked it. It goes well with my steel-capped knee-high boots in my room.

"I love it!" Lizzy squealed. I smirked.

"Aren't I just a little slut, ne, teacher?" I whimpered while hugging myself before laughing out loud. A few of the customers turned red at my little show.

"I'm buying it for you!" she cheered, pushing me back in the small room and closing the curtain. I didn't question it. If I asked, it would probably remind her that she is doing me a favour. Either way, if I do or don't ask, there will be a chance that she will use this as a way to set me up with another man.

With a sigh and a small smirk, I handed her back the clothes. She rushed to the cashier who also noticed the show despite being earlier focused on his game of solitaire on the monitor. Lizzy grinned and dragged me out of the store, going to another. Another confession: Even though I am a man, I adore shopping with my cousin. Again, I say that stereotypically saying, I might make a great gay. But I'm not interested in men (another phrase used in repetition) so there would be no point in saying that.

XC XC XC

"Okay! Last shop before I go back to classes!" she called after our tenth or eleventh shop. It was just a simple one with women's and men's wear for all occasions. Until my dearest cousin dragged me to the back.

"C-C-C-!" I couldn't even say it.

"Cosplay," My cousin finished. She began skimming through sailor uniforms, dresses, fake armors…

"I'll go home now then," I said, waving goodbye. She grabbed my arm, giving me her best pout.

"Stay~," she whined. I rolled my eyes. It's not the pout that makes me give in though. It is the fact that she is the most annoying family member, after my aunt…

"I'll wait in the normal part of the store for five minutes. No more. If you aren't out by then, I'm leaving," I compromised, exiting. I saw her eyes gleam and she grinned before becoming interested in a bunny-girl outfit.

I shook my head at my poor cousin…and then bumped into something that talked.

"Oh, sorry."

I glanced up and my eyes widened in surprise.

"S-S-Sebastian!" I exclaimed.

"Ciel? What are you doing here?" he asked, visibly puzzled.

"L-Lizzy wanted to go shopping," I answered, coughing awkwardly and regaining my composure. "This is apparently the last store to visit.

"Where is she?" Sebastian looked around for any sign of the blonde otaku. I probably made a face because he looked at me net with a questioning gaze.

"My hell…" I answered, shuddering. He chuckled. I looked at him. "What are you doing here as well?"

"Clothes shopping obviously," he answered with a smirk. I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Very nice. I should remember that one," I said, replicating his smirk.

"Well, now that I have a 'third-party' or sorts, would you help me pick some clothes?" he asked with an apologetic smile, holding up a shirt in each hand. I looked at both of the articles of clothing, then walked to the clothes rack, my hand under my chin in observation. I grabbed a black button down shortsleeve and pressed it to his chest. He raised his chin, attempting to look down.

"Put this on," I told him, going back to get some pants, "And this. And then this with these."

He took the clothes while I gave him a gentle push to the booth. I sat on a chair and grabbed a random magazine next to it. I weird thought popped into my head. _'So this is what Lizzy does when she gets my stuff…Except more aggressive.'_ I sighed with the second part of my thought.

"These are good clothes you picked."

I almost jumped but turned my head at the deep voice. I didn't think I had a sense of fashion to be honest. I just picked out dark colored clothes that matched his physique. I guess it worked.

"I'm surprised myself. I usually let Lizzy shop for me," I said, shrugging. He chuckled again. I still felt that it was as fake as his smile, but no matter. He finds me _hilarious_.

He entered the small room to get changed out of the clothes and I went back to reading…whatever I was reading. Some sort of gossip magazine talking about fan's-know-who was cheating on fan's-care-who. It was kind of boring, really.

"Ciel~!"

"Shit!" I cursed under my breath. If Sebastian walks out now, I'm screwed. I looked around glancing at the clock, hoping the ground would swallow me up at that second. In the rush of the moment, I hid in a random change room.

That change room just _had_ to be Sebastian's.

"Ciel, what's going on?" he asked. I hushed him, holding my hand to his mouth so that his back was pressing on the wall and I on his bare chest. Not that I had time to worry about that just yet with a BL fan-girl on the loose,

"Ciel, are you still here?" Lizzy called. I heard her huff and imagined her angry pout. "The schoolboy slut left!"

I blushed slightly at being called that behind my back and felt my hand vibrate with a snigger from Sebastian's mouth and an amused look on the visible part of his face. I glared up at him before hearing her stomp away. I realized she had all my shopping and released a snicker myself. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth and I let go of Sebastian, leaning on the wall opposite of him.

"Ciel?"

"Yeah?" I looked back up at him and registered the situation.

He was half naked, his original pants on but his zipper undone and his torso bare and pale. If there were any way to explain his features in a way that won't get me killed with squeals from 'fujoshi's', it would be that he was like a Greek sculpture or something of a beautiful _artistic_ nature. Probably the more 'in' way of speaking would be that he looked like a model.

Anyway, he gave me a look which included his eyebrows raising up and down and a smirk on his face. I reddened at the gesture and turned my head, walking out and muttering a small apology. I think I heard a small but genuine laugh there, but that could also have been my blood-filled head causing weird ideas. I sighed. I needed to leave.

"I'm gonna go now Sebastian," I called to him through the door, "Bye."

"Wait up!"

He opened the door, changed. I eyed him questioningly. He sighed in defeat but didn't explain – smiling was his only reply.

He went to pay for his things while I followed behind. He even opened the door for me upon exiting which made me smirk.

"You'd make a great servant," I mused, "But for now, you're only a peasant."

"Did Elizabeth teach you those terms during role-playing sessions?" he shot back. I cannot win, can I? That's what ticked me off about this guy but made him all the more intriguing. I'm used to people either hating me or sucking up to me (with the exception of Lizzy, Aunt Red, _that_ guy…But enough of them). This guy did neither. He was friendly yet condescending. It was nice…I guess. Again, speak of this to _no one._

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><p><strong>Do you guys want me to write reeeeeeaaaalllly long chapters? Or stick to the 1000-20003000 word chapters? Because this was going to go longer but then I cut it and made the leftover part the start of a new chapter. So, readers, opinion on length? Of the chapter! *had a dirty mind moment***

**By the way, I think my writing style (in terms of how I portray Ciel's POV) has changed. I just get that feeling. Has it? Please let me know about that too! :3  
>I already know about structural change. XD I'm re-uploading my storieschapters to this change. XD The little share button in the corner ruined my centre-ness. :( XD  
><strong>

**[Please report mistakes, grammatical or spelling wise! I don't really proof read! ㆁωㆁ XD]**

**Bai-Bai-Bii~!**

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><p><strong>(Finished: Wednesday 25th, January, 2012. Approx: 12:50am<br>Publish Date: Wednesday 25th, January, 2011.) **


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